Friesians Pull on Pantyhose for Devon

♘امیرحسین♞

♘ مدیریت انجمن اسب ایران ♞
Eight dressage riders team up to produce an original exhibition riding Friesians.

Until lately, I thought I'd seen and done just about everything you could do with a dressage horse. Was I wrong! In September of 2003, I volunteered to help some special friends of mine put on a demonstration at Dressage at Devon. Seven of these friends were Friesian stallions-Jilte, Thor, Kaiser, Mick, Gibraltar, Remington, and Valour-and one, Commander, was a gelding. The demo also involved about two dozen humans, starting with Shaana Pritchard of Frieze Frame Friesians and Joe Myers of JoKar's Hilltop Farm, the inspiration and organizers for this performance. Shaana had put together a carousel (eight Friesians dancing to music) and Joe designed and made the costumes. Joe also provided his stallion, Thor, as a performer, and his daughter as a rider. EquiSong.com, TropicalRider.com, JoKar's Hilltop Farm, Cork's Stitchin' Horse, Christi Wood and BlackHorse leather, Equestriangraphics.com, Customdesignart.com, and the new registry Friesians of America sponsored the show.

After seeing the performance, one of the Devon officials asked announcer Brian O'Connor how long the team had been practicing. Brian calmly replied, "Oh, about two days."Yes, until two days before the Friday performance, only two of those Friesians had met each other. The team never had a full, mounted run-through, because the horses and riders came from all over the eastern US. Once Dressage at Devon started, they couldn't get any time to practice in Dixon Oval. As anyone who has ever watched the warm-up ring knows, you can't practice an 8-horse performance there without committing mayhem.

To get ready, the horses were groomed and their luxuriant manes were french-braided. Then they came to the volunteer team and we put pantyhose on them.

You read that right. Pantyhose. On horses. We called it "Men in Tights,"laughing as we worked. Random people walked by, stopped and stared. "What the heck are you doing?"

"Putting pantyhose on stallions."

"I don't believe it."

"You ain't seen nothin' yet."Here's how you do it. Start with one large, exceptionally sweet and sensible Friesian in cross-ties and the largest pair of sheer black pantyhose you can find. Cut the feet off the panty hose and split them up the middle, keeping the waistband attached to the legs but cutting off and saving the reinforced crotch area. Then lift a front hoof up and work the pantyhose from the fetlock up the horse's leg as high as possible. While someone secures the pantyhose at the fetlock and knee with black electrical tape, run around to the other side and put the other pantyhose leg onto the horse's other front leg. When the second leg is secured, bribe the horse with a treat to put his head way down. While he is in full bow, stretch the pantyhose up and over his head so that the waistband comes to rest at the withers. Pat the horse profusely at this point for standing still.

Move to the rear of the horse and apply a second pair of pantyhose to both hind legs, keeping the tail out of the pantyhose and putting the waistband over the horse's rump. Pat and praise once more.

The lights are encased in clear plastic tubes that are attached to long leather straps. Starting at one front fetlock, run the strap up the leg, over the withers, and down to the other fetlock, using plastic fasteners to attach the strap to the pantyhose. Take the small leftover strip from the pantyhose and tie it across the horse's chest to help keep the legs in place. Pat the horse and tell him he is a good boy, because he is still standing like a statue. Repeat this procedure on the hind legs but do not tie an extra piece across the rump.

The last strip of lights goes along the crest from the withers and between the horse's ears to the noseband of his bridle. Use plastic fasteners to secure the leather strip to the horse's french-braided mane and noseband. Then, put on a black saddle pad with gold designs and tassles, feeding the wires through the channel so they don't rub. Put the saddle on, girth it up, and plug the connecting wire from the lights into a battery pack to check that all the lights work. If necessary, replace a whole tube of lights and check again that all the wires are secure and safe. Unplug the lights, hand the battery pack to the rider who wear them in a fanny pack, and let her take the horse out to walk in hand. Try not to laugh too hard at the extra hock action of an 1500 lb stallion getting used to the feel of pantyhose.

We finished the last horse about 5 seconds to showtime. As he trotted off, we ran to the stands to watch. The arena was completely dark and quiet. When the music started, the dark horses entered the arena. In time to the music, the horses lit up one by one.

I couldn't help sighing "Oooooooooohhhh!"with the rest of the spectators, even though I knew what was coming. Then the horses began their patterns, the lights highlighting their beautiful arched necks and long-reaching legs. It was mesmerizing as the lighted horses came together, parted, and interwove in an intricate dance.

Suddenly I realized something was wrong. The back lights on one horse were creeping down his rump. The pantyhose had broken! My guess was that it was Valour, a 17.2-hand stallion who barely fit into his 3X size pantyhose. Slowly the strap slipped lower and so did the pantyhose. Soon it reached that annoying level that most women know, when the pantyhose have worked their way down to mid-thigh and you can't WALK. Finally the stallion took off at an exuberant canter. The other horses and riders moved aside and continued the performance.

Amazingly, in a matter of seconds the horse recovered his calm. With some help from his rider and Joe Myers, the stallion decided that the terrible thing on his legs was there to stay, so there was no point making a fuss. Moments like this that make me love this breed.

He was back into line for the finale, where, one by one, the horses's lights went out. Joe ran into the ring in the dark, grabbed the offending strap, and handed it to the rider before the lights came up. To thunderous applause, the Friesians did a victory lap or two -- one rider holding the rump lights up -- before the audience was invited to come to the warm-up ring to meet the performers.

The horses puffed up proudly and met their big-eyed fans with dignity and charm. The riders were giggling and grinning, so much so that I couldn't tell who had had the pantyhose problem. (It was Jilte, not Valour.) The owners happily fielded questions and permitted pats and kisses. I went back to my motel with a head full of dreams. My wildest ambitions have been fulfilled. I've put pantyhose on stallions!​
 

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